The Blog

16 Dec 14

It is with deep, profound sadness that I write this post, but here it is.

 

We received news today that my mother passed away this morning, shortly after 9am (Saskatchewan time). She had been weak and ill for a fairly long time – spending most of the past year either in hospital or care home. Back in June, all seven of her children travelled to Saskatoon, where she lay in hospital, not expected to survive the night. We gathered around her bed and said our tearful goodbyes and waited for news of her passing. The night came and went, and the next,…and the next,…and on the third day she woke up and said to my sister “Do they not have any toast in this place?” My sister sent me a text message saying “I think I’m hallucinating!” with a photo of our mother eating peanut butter and jam toast and watching The Price is Right on TV. We were all gobsmacked, but at the same time there was a part of us that wasn’t surprised. Our mom was a tough, depression-era farm woman who pushed through whatever life threw at her, without complaint. She had little time for complaining, or complainers. As children we often heard the phrase “You got a full belly and a dry bum, what are you moaning about?” Knowing what she and my father, who passed away in 1982, had gone through in their lives – poverty, illness, World War 2 (my father fought overseas), the loss of an infant son, and raising seven children on an impossibly tight salary, made us wary of complaining. They were reasonable about it – anyone was allowed to grouse about something for awhile – but say your piece, air your grievance, and then shut up and move on – life is tough enough without having to listen to a bunch of whining. It was a solid way to grow up, and it forged a sense of perspective in us that, to this day, helps provide a bit of context to life’s ups and downs. So when our mother made this rather miraculous rebound from the brink of death, we knew her toughness had something to do with it. Not only that, but she thought it was hilarious that we had all gathered around her bed to say goodbye, and then she didn’t go anywhere. She had no real memory of that window of time, but she would laugh and say “I had you all pretty worried, eh?” Her recovery afforded us some extra time and some extra laughs that we never expected to get. Once, when I was visiting her recently, she said “Are you worried about me dying?” And I said “Nothing you do surprises me mother. If you passed away tomorrow it wouldn’t surprise me. And if you came bouncing down the hall on a pogo stick, that wouldn’t surprise me either.” That made her laugh. And making Mom laugh was about the best feeling in the world. She was a great laugher. You could get her going to the point where she just kind of shook and made a slight, high-pitched squeaking sound. When she was laughing like that, we would call her Precious Pup, and that would get her going even harder – wiping tears from her eyes. Dad could always make her laugh too. We may not have had a lot growing up, but we had a lot of laughs. And we were never cold, and never hungry, and always felt secure in our old house, and that had everything to do with our parents. Losing Dad just after my sixteenth birthday was sudden and unexpected and a tremendous shock. It flattened us all, and devastated my mother. It took her a long time to rally from that, and at the time it was just she and I at home (I’m the youngest of her children, and the others had all moved away by that time.) So we had a few years at home where it was just Mom and me, and as close as we were before, we grew incredibly close during that period of our lives. Even though she had been in a steady, steep decline these past weeks, and we all knew this was coming, losing her today simply and plainly crushes a part of me that won’t ever heal entirely. But that’s only because I loved her very much, and when you love someone that much, that’s the price you have to pay when you lose them.   It hurts like hell, but I feel so truly blessed that I got to pay that price.

I’m going to miss that laugh.

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We love you Mom. Rest in Peace.

 

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    Comments

    1. Laurie Hunter says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss.

    2. Billy says:

      Sorry for the loss

    3. Karen says:

      “You got a full belly and a dry bum, what are you moaning about?” Wise woman, your mum. Thank you for sharing your memories. Sympathy to you and your family on the loss of this great woman.

    4. Debbie says:

      Thank you Brent, we went through similar with my husbands mom a couple years ago. Your story is beautiful and heartwarming. My condolences to you and your family, and you are right, when it hurts when you lose someone it’s lucky you loved and were loved by that someone.

    5. Paul guppy says:

      So sorry for your loss. Your mum would be proud of you for the words you wrote to honour her. please remember the laughing and good times and God bless you and yours.

    6. Sherisse Koberinski says:

      Lost my mom almost 4 years ago (Jan 4) and still feels like yesterday most days. We know in our hearts and brains that it happens and whatever your beliefs are remembering and celebrating the lives of these incredible women (both our moms) is what helps heal.

    7. MaryLin Howard says:

      Such wonderful words of love for your Mom… I am so sorry for your loss.

      I pray that the tears that roll gently down your cheeks water the memories of your heart, and the love of your Mom continues to bloom in the way only a Mothers love can.

      She gave the world a wonderful gift in sharing you with all of us, she must have been one special lady to have a son like you.

      Keeping you in thought and prayer during this time.

    8. Ryan says:

      So sorry for your loss, Brent.

    9. Bobby Bevelaqua says:

      Class act and class act.

    10. Mike Jakel says:

      Sorry for your loss Brent. Wonderful reading about her, I’m glad you got to say goodbye. I hope you spend the holidays thinking about the good times.

    11. Mike Robertson says:

      You have made me laugh ever since I saw you at the Urban Well in Kits many moons ago. I wondered who could have created such a hilarious man. Now I know. I bet she is very proud of her baby boy.

      All the best to you and yours Brent

    12. Glenda says:

      Brent, sincere sympathy on the loss of your mom. From what you’ve written I can tell she was an exceptional lady. Keep all the great memories you have of her close to your heart.

    13. Mark Steffich says:

      So sorry, Buddy. Having lost my dear Mom in June reminds me of the pain you’re going thru. I loved making my Mom laugh too.Prayers to your family.

    14. Stuart Ully says:

      Very sorry to hear of the passing of your mom.

    15. Brian Wimmer says:

      Very sorry for your loss Brent
      Our sincere condolences to you and yours
      Brian and Jean Wimmer
      Red Deer Alberta

    16. nadine says:

      I am very sorry to know of your loss! I know how hard it is – both my parents have passed away and it is only time that helps soothe the hurt. I am very glad to know she lived in Saskatchewan – home of your famous show – love Corner Gas – and I am sure your mom lived being very proud of you! Take time to heal !

    17. Fran Bridges says:

      I am so very sorry for your loss. Remember the laughs.

    18. Andre Kuhlman says:

      Brent, my condolences for your loss. I know what your going through, I lost my mom myself a number of years ago (to cancer). Although it was expected (my mother’s passing) it still came as a shock. My mom and I where close and I still miss her. What also didn’t help was the accidental death of my father (on my 30th birthday, and the day before Elvis’s death) a few years later. So all I can say is, hang in there bud. If you feel like crying do so don’t hold back. Tears have a way of cleansing and washing away the pain. I know you wife doesn’t know me but pass along my condolences for the loss of her mother-in-law. Again hang in there. Hugs to you and yours, Andre

    19. Bill and Linzi says:

      So sorry to hear about your Mom’s passing, Brent. I am sure she was so very proud of you and that you’ve been able to create something that means so much to many, many people.

    20. Emily says:

      my deepest condolences on the loss of your mother.

    21. Lisa says:

      I always remember your bit about accidentally punching your Mom in the mouth during a friendly mock-boxing bout between the two of you! So sorry you’ve lost her.

    22. Gloria Evans says:

      Saddened to hear of your family’s loss, Brent. The memory and love of our parents lasts our lifetime, your mom and dad will now be able to be incredibly proud of you together.
      The blog was a warm look into the life of an incredible woman.

      Regards
      Gloria Evans
      Regina, SK

    23. Trevor & Stephanie Buck says:

      Im so sorry to hear about your mother Brett! Im glad you got to say your goodbye. i did not have that chance when I lost my grandmother ( was killed in a hit and run) and making sure you got to see her again was the most important thing. You will always remember the good times!

    24. Bronwen says:

      Sorry to hear of the death of your mom. Thanks for sharing some memories of her.

    25. GeoffK says:

      My condolences. I lost my grandmother a year ago (who I was lucky to have known my entire life, we saw my grandparents almost weekly), so I can empathize. It leaves a hole that will never be completely filled. But I treasure the memories I got to make with her. I’m sure you will do the same. All the best, and hang tough.

      Geoff

    26. mimi says:

      Dear Brent -My sincere condolences to you and your loved ones. You moved me to tears. I lost my mother when I was 17 and it was me and dad until ’03. This past dec.12 was 25yrs and yes it still hurts and yes it’s because of love. Moms are our Moms right? With love and support from some random idiot in Toronto.
      Mimi

      have snacks, where do I leave them?

    27. Kevin says:

      Nicely said Brent. All the best in this trying time…

    28. Barbara says:

      Your mother will live on in your heart and in the memories of her you share with others. Sorry for your loss, Brent.

    29. Denis Grignon says:

      Beautiful, Brent. Absolutely beautifully written. What a loving, kind, touching testament to who your mother was. You and your sibs are lucky to have had her.

    30. Danine Schlosser says:

      I am so sorry about your Mom. Sending you a big hug and praying for you and your family this holiday season. Miss you.

    31. Jill Fagan says:

      Hey Brent,
      So sorry to hear of your loss. Seems like your mom was a wonderful lady!

      best ~jill

    32. Kathy&Len Batke says:

      So sorry for your loss,With deepest sympathy to you and your family
      You are so lucky to have had such a great mom and you will forever miss her.

    33. Carol Cockrum says:

      oh Brett, such a beautiful tribute to your mother!!! She sounds so very much like mine, who we lost 4 years ago! My heart goes out you guys…it a tough thing to go through! Just know that your pain is divided amongst all those who love you! ;)

    34. Francis and Florence Gress says:

      Your mother was a very nice lady. Our Smypathy to the Butt family.

    35. Pat Montay says:

      Losing a Mom is one of life;s hardest things to do, and your’s sounded like a great lady. <y deepest sympathies.

      pat Montay

    36. Joan says:

      Brent’s last year or so with his mom sounds similar to that of mine with my mom, who passed away a couple of months ago. Those memories will be cherished forever.

    37. Trina Gurbach says:

      My sincere condolences to all the family! My thoughts and prayers are with you! I felt honored to be able to work with an amazing lady with a great sense of humour and made you feel welcomed in her home! She will be missed!

      God Bless
      Trina

    38. Tim I says:

      My condolences to you and yours Brent

    39. Jocelyn says:

      My deepest sympathies, I really liked Irene. I will miss seeing her smiling face.

    40. Jane Steblyk says:

      So sorry to hear your mom passed Brent. My condolences to you and your family.
      Enjoying your movie and of course Corner Gas tv series. You “done good” my friend.
      Your mom and dad would be so proud of all your success. Best Wishes for 2015.
      Jane

    41. Kathylynne says:

      I never met your Mom Brent, living in Tisdale and hanging out with you throughout high school, but I know she was a great lady and you will miss her dearly. She is largely responsibly for shaping you into the successful fellow you turned out to be….Thinking of you during this difficult time. Robin & Kathylynne Fenton

    42. Karen Cay says:

      So sorry to hear about your mom Brent, and my deepest condolences. I remember how close you were even when we were younger and I’m sure she has been so proud of you not just for your success…but also how hard you’ve worked to earn that success. She has left you, obviously, with many great memories.

    43. Doug Davis says:

      So sorry for your loss Brent .

    44. Tyler Durant says:

      Working at the beeland coop in high school I would deliver groceries to her, she had a very good sense of humour and was a very nice lady. when I would put her groceries in the wrong cupboard she would always just leave them until I left …rest in peace

    45. Jim says:

      My deepest condolences.

    46. Kim Hamill says:

      Brent,
      What a beautiful tribute to your mom. Thanks for reminding all of us that the most important things are not things at all. It’s the memories and unconditional love of family that keeps our hears full and happy. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with the pain and sadness of such a heartbreaking loss. My condolences to you and your family during this time.

    47. Wenda Carter says:

      Brent, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
      Wenda <3 <3 <3

    48. Dean Jenkinson says:

      Condolences, Brent. Wishing you the best in this tough time. Your mom sounds like an awesome lady.

    49. Joyce Bansley Bzdel says:

      Oh my Brent how this news saddens me. Growing up intertwined in the Butt household by being a dear friend with your sister Della, I experienced first hand what wonderful parents you were blessed to have. Some of the Shenanigans that I witnessed and may have been a part of were countless. One time when Della and I were about twelve, she came to stay at my farm for the night. While she was there we asked if we could have a hot dog roast. My parents being busy said sure go ahead and make a fire. Well that was fine except it was a little windy out. Della and I decided if we put the fire between two wooden bins and use a little diesel fuel to get it burning, the weiner roast would happen much faster.lol Now as you well imagine things did get burning and not just our fire but it started leaping up the side of the wooden bin. We screamed for my parents who promptly came and put it out. The comedy of this situation is your Mom heard about it and 40 years later when I ran into her in Tisdale, she grinned her impish grin and asked “Had any weiner roasts lately? Cracked me right up and we had a lovely visit. I will miss her in my world and my heartfelt sympathies to all of you.

    50. Tim Allan says:

      Sorry to hear about your mom Brent. Great woman. Condolences from my family to yours.

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