The Blog

16 Dec 14

It is with deep, profound sadness that I write this post, but here it is.

 

We received news today that my mother passed away this morning, shortly after 9am (Saskatchewan time). She had been weak and ill for a fairly long time – spending most of the past year either in hospital or care home. Back in June, all seven of her children travelled to Saskatoon, where she lay in hospital, not expected to survive the night. We gathered around her bed and said our tearful goodbyes and waited for news of her passing. The night came and went, and the next,…and the next,…and on the third day she woke up and said to my sister “Do they not have any toast in this place?” My sister sent me a text message saying “I think I’m hallucinating!” with a photo of our mother eating peanut butter and jam toast and watching The Price is Right on TV. We were all gobsmacked, but at the same time there was a part of us that wasn’t surprised. Our mom was a tough, depression-era farm woman who pushed through whatever life threw at her, without complaint. She had little time for complaining, or complainers. As children we often heard the phrase “You got a full belly and a dry bum, what are you moaning about?” Knowing what she and my father, who passed away in 1982, had gone through in their lives – poverty, illness, World War 2 (my father fought overseas), the loss of an infant son, and raising seven children on an impossibly tight salary, made us wary of complaining. They were reasonable about it – anyone was allowed to grouse about something for awhile – but say your piece, air your grievance, and then shut up and move on – life is tough enough without having to listen to a bunch of whining. It was a solid way to grow up, and it forged a sense of perspective in us that, to this day, helps provide a bit of context to life’s ups and downs. So when our mother made this rather miraculous rebound from the brink of death, we knew her toughness had something to do with it. Not only that, but she thought it was hilarious that we had all gathered around her bed to say goodbye, and then she didn’t go anywhere. She had no real memory of that window of time, but she would laugh and say “I had you all pretty worried, eh?” Her recovery afforded us some extra time and some extra laughs that we never expected to get. Once, when I was visiting her recently, she said “Are you worried about me dying?” And I said “Nothing you do surprises me mother. If you passed away tomorrow it wouldn’t surprise me. And if you came bouncing down the hall on a pogo stick, that wouldn’t surprise me either.” That made her laugh. And making Mom laugh was about the best feeling in the world. She was a great laugher. You could get her going to the point where she just kind of shook and made a slight, high-pitched squeaking sound. When she was laughing like that, we would call her Precious Pup, and that would get her going even harder – wiping tears from her eyes. Dad could always make her laugh too. We may not have had a lot growing up, but we had a lot of laughs. And we were never cold, and never hungry, and always felt secure in our old house, and that had everything to do with our parents. Losing Dad just after my sixteenth birthday was sudden and unexpected and a tremendous shock. It flattened us all, and devastated my mother. It took her a long time to rally from that, and at the time it was just she and I at home (I’m the youngest of her children, and the others had all moved away by that time.) So we had a few years at home where it was just Mom and me, and as close as we were before, we grew incredibly close during that period of our lives. Even though she had been in a steady, steep decline these past weeks, and we all knew this was coming, losing her today simply and plainly crushes a part of me that won’t ever heal entirely. But that’s only because I loved her very much, and when you love someone that much, that’s the price you have to pay when you lose them.   It hurts like hell, but I feel so truly blessed that I got to pay that price.

I’m going to miss that laugh.

FullSizeRender

We love you Mom. Rest in Peace.

 

Share it!

    « See all posts from "The Blog"

    Comments

    1. Bob Poley says:

      Hey Brent so sorry to hear about your mom. We are in similar positions so we know how you feel. Watching our role models weaken snd fall ill. So is the circle of life. Take csre old friend. Love Bob and Elaine Poley

    2. Carole says:

      So Sorry to you and your family on the loss of your Mother. Losing our parents is something that time never heals. Deepest Sympathies.

    3. Ariel says:

      Sincere condolences. My mom also passed away this year after battling cancer twice in a decade. Your words captured the essence of what it feels like when a child loses a parent especially one who has been close and so well loved. How blessed you are to have felt a mother`s love. The gratitude I have for the goodness and kindness of my mom was felt in your words. I am very sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel.

    4. Jay Ono says:

      Brent, So sorry for your loss. What an amazing woman. The pogo stick line made me smile. Take care and condolences, Jay

    5. Art Blais says:

      Our sympathy and prayers are with you and yours.

    6. Suzanne Paquin says:

      I am so truly sorry.
      With much love to you and your family.
      SP

    7. Pam Storey says:

      So very sorry for your loss Brent. She sounds like a lovely lady.

    8. Grant & Raelene Aseltine says:

      We are sorry to hear about your Mom’s passing. We are thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Take care!

    9. Sandra and Darrell Jensen says:

      So sorry to hear about your mom. We both remember your mom and dad from the way back days growing up in Tisdale. Take care–thinking about you.

    10. Janet Colarusso says:

      Dear Brett and Family,
      Your Mom sounds like she was an amazing woman. I think that we “prairie kids” do come from hearty stock. Please accept my sincere sympathy for your loss.

      There is one saying that has given me consolation in the past, and I would like to share it with you.

      ” And as we here on Earth mourn the loss of our loved one, know that in Heaven others are celebrating her arrival.” Somewhere up there, she’s laughing, and there is a party going on.

    11. Laurie Stonehouse says:

      So sorry to hear of your loss Brent. There is always one thing that I say “Memories – One of life’s greatest gifts.” Hang on to your memories of her ( and from the way Preston talks you have lots of memories), and your mom will always be with you. Our sincerest sympathy goes out to you and the family.

    12. Lauri Bouvier says:

      So sorry for your lost Brent! Your Mom was a strong caring women with lots of laughs. Condolences to your family. I am new to Saskatchewan and there is a lot of nice people here that makes us laugh.

    13. Augie and Kari-Dale Rubisch Hudson Bay SK says:

      So sorry and heartfelt sympathy at the loss of your Mom, Brent it is so hard to say goodbye to the ones we love. Take care.

    14. Emily McTighe says:

      Whatever soothes your spirit,
      comforts your soul,
      and brings you peace . . .
      . . . that’s what you’re wished at this sad time.

    15. Jeremy Manson says:

      I am so sorry for your loss Brent, I know how close your family is from our many conversations. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.

      From an old friend …

      Jeremy Manson (Rumor’s Comedy Club )

    16. Major Ken Percy - The Salvation Army says:

      Brent…

      So sorry to hear of your Mother’s Passing. As the Pastor for The Salvation Army in Tisdale SK, having your Mom as one of our congregation, I knew I had “Scored” a hit if I made her laugh with a funny story or joke in my sermon. If Mom Butt didn’t laugh or just sat there shaking her head, then I knew I had to get some new material. Your Mom was an inspiration to me as I served in the Community. Her smiling face made my day. Our thoughts and prayers are with you during these days.

      God Bless

    17. Roni Sue Coulter says:

      Brent,

      Mother’s are one of a kind. I miss mine every day, and know that will never change. Blessings to you and your family.

    18. Tammie (Mann) Elder says:

      My condolences Brent. I know she will be missed by everyone in Tisdale and those of us who have travelled away.

    19. Betty Eskdale says:

      May the joy of having had
      her in you life fill your thoughts
      when sorrow tries to overwhelm you.

    20. Jason Lamb says:

      Very sad to hear the news, Brent. You’ve written a beautiful and heartbreaking tribute to her. My condolences.

    21. Tammy Mauel (Janzen) says:

      having lived across the ally from you I agree with your kind words for your mom. Those were times that made women strong, your mom one of them. I lost my mom 4years ago and all I can say is it takes time to move on, and what impacted me the most….No One loves you like you mom. Warm thoughts your way Brent!

    22. Allan Vancoughnett says:

      So sorry to hear Brent. Mom’s are the Best. Always remember, she will always be with you, an Angel to look over you, My Condolences.

    23. Bev Pinsent says:

      Dearest Brent…all of my heart reaches out to you and your siblings with a ton of love and understanding. We went through it with The Mighty I three years ago and so we truly do get it…I suppose, with the we and all, I must be speaking for Barry as well, and as usual. Such an honor to have been born to them yes? And an honor to help usher them on indeed.
      So much love your way
      Always
      Your Friend, Bevie

    24. Gearld Slessor says:

      Sorry to hear about your Mom Brent,from what you wrote in your blog she was a wonderful lady

    25. Gearld Slessor says:

      Hi Brent sorry to hear about your.

    26. Gearld Slessor says:

      Opps i goofed there It was sorry to hear about your Mom

    27. Angie Pollom says:

      Margaret Atwood has been quoted to say “And in the end, we all become stories” I think of this when I think about my mom since her passing, all the memories, all the stories. Thank you for sharing these snipets of the stories you have. Take care.

    28. Barb says:

      So sorry to hear of your loss. I know exactly what you have gone through – I went throught the same thing with my mother. Your words were beautiful and I am sure she is looking down on you with pride.

    29. Mike Roberds says:

      I’m so sorry to hear about your mum passing away. No words I can say other than that, my friend.
      Regards,
      Mike

    30. Joan Hansen says:

      Wonderful tribute. So sorry for your loss. I have an elderly mother, so can relate entirely.

    31. Glo Lynn says:

      Our moms were in the same ward in Saskatoon in June, Brett…we recall your family being “called in”…and although we recognized you from tv, you wouldn’t have known our family. My sister and I feel your pain; our mom left us in June. She didn’t ask for toast more than once or twice. We understand, truly. And we hope you and your family are feeling the peace of the Christ-of-Christmas this season. God bless.

    32. Sara Longfellow says:

      Brent, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. She sounds like an incredible woman and a wonderful mom. I’m thinking of you. Take care

    33. Nila Larson says:

      Sorry for your loss PVL workers

    34. Dolores Fineberg says:

      Brent, what and beautiful and honest tribute to your Mom. It is never easy losing a loved one.Laughter and tears are the truest way to honor your Mom. Our hearts are with you.

    35. Deb & Daryl Hemsley says:

      So sorry for your lost Brent! Your Mom was a strong caring women with lots of laughs. Condolences to your family. Always remember, she will always be with you, an Angel to look over you.

    36. Karen (Moss) Adam says:

      Brent, my deepest condolences to you and your family. Losing a mom is very hard, yours was a great one and your tribute was so heartfelt and beautiful. I remember your parents from Tisdale where I grew up. Thinking of you and sending love and prayers that you may be given comfort at this difficult time.

    37. The McLarty's - Will, Wanda, Bruce, Allison, Scott, and Jim says:

      Heartfelt sympathy and prayers to you at this sad time – it is very difficult to lose a Mom.
      Blessings to you and yours.

    38. glen knudtson says:

      sorry to hear of the loss of your mother from donna and glen knudtson

    39. Brenda says:

      With Sincere Sympathy. Never easy loosing a parent that is so deeply loved. I live a similar situation, both parents gone which took years to get over and a husband still in care for over 15 years with Huntintons. The carehome toys with me or this and that, low bloodbressure, over 15gallsontes removed this summer, now liver failure, but we stand strong together through it all, each smile and laugh is a gifts. He can fo longer talk but we have sytstem to communicate that I started when I realized he was loosing his voice. Its what you do, it your loved one and even small moments in life a precious life. The industry is tough, have met you at the Jonos and shot you a few times on red carpets but no one ever know what we go through in our personal life and somehow balance it all. But we do. My deepest condolences. There are no works but she lives on in you and keep your memories close. She is never gone and is always with you. Blessings. and sorry for your loss. Brenda

    40. Erin Clouson ( Kirkpatrick, Briercrest , SK0 says:

      Beautiful tribute to your mom. A Sask death is felt by all!! RIP momma Butt!!

    41. Cathleen says:

      My deep respect for your mother, you, and the resilience of life. The wound may never heal, but time will transform it into a whole new form of inspiration that will keep you as entertaining to follow now… comedy or tragedy writing in your future… as it was when we discovered you back in 2004.

      The reality of life, while painful, is also where creativity comes from. It keeps me going on the bad days, and entertains me hugely on the good days.

      Keep the pointy side up.

      Cathleen

    42. Carol Rudyk says:

      My Dad Phil Sauers worked with your Dad when he was delivering milk. I have a picture I had wanted to pass on to you of 3 little kids on a milk horse being led to our barn one could be you. I nice picture of your Dad too. I thought I could deliver it to your Mom when I went to Tisdale but that didn’t work out. Sorry I missed that opportunity to deliver it to her. I didn’t want to put it on Facebook. Sorry to hear of her passing. Blessings to you….

    43. Michael Le Strat says:

      The loss of one’s parent is never easy. May the memories of both your parents be plentiful and wonderful.

    44. steve stensrud says:

      So sorry for your loss old friend…hope you can have a Christmas season sharing laughs with family and friends.

    45. alan wadsworth says:

      my wife Rose Skoglund is sorry to hear of your loss . Roy and Rick moved back to Tisdale

    46. April Hallatt says:

      So sorry for the loss of your mom. Beautiful picture of her.

    Leave your feedback...